Finally - Pictures

I have not been so good posting pictures - but these bring us up to date!

Night view from our balcony

Checking for foot & mouth disease at school every morning

A tough day of farming at school

Some of the many gorgeous sunsets seen from our apartment

Chinese gardens

Feeding the rather aggressive turtles at the Chinese gardens

 Furniture arrives

Charlie getting made-up at the Chinese opera

 
 YIKES!

 A walk in the botanical gardens

Langkawi, Malaysia

Reflexology: East vs West

With a piercing migraine, and no time to indulge in a bedridden recovery, I decided to try Reflexology, as I had heard, could help. I was doubtful, but figured it was worth a shot.

Now, I confess, I love any kind of massages and have had my fair of Reflexology massages, but all at resorts. And I loved them. The ones that I had had were extremely relaxing, and many times left me in a state of speechless bliss.

I had never really considered these massages for medical purposes (too relaxing!). For those of you who don't know, a reflexology massage is focused mostly on the feet and lower legs believing that different areas of the foot relate to different areas of the body and by massaging (I use this word loosely here) your foot in certain ways, it can help restore balance to your body and relieve pain.

So, in my compromised state, I wandered around until I found a place that seemed suitably clean and not dodgy (I did try one "Press and Rub" when I first arrived). I found a place, and told them of my terrible migraine and asked if they could help me. Yes, absolutely, I was reassured. My feet were washed, and I was put in a room with many other lounge-chair type of beds separated by transparent curtains. A strong, and at the same time gentle, Chinese Singaporean woman sat down in front of me and listened to my complaints. And then went to work. 20 minutes into my 60 minutes, I was starting to sweat, hyperventilate and trying to be brave and last through to the end of the massage. It was excruciatingly painful.
OW! What does that part of my foot relate to?
Your neck.
OW! and that?
Your eyes? Are you tired? (YES!)
OW! OW! OW!
Your spine.
(Deep breaths deep breaths suffering through the next one...) What's that?
Lower back.
I was now white knuckled gripping the edge of my bed-chair, and that?
Your head.
You've got to stop, I'm dying, what's that?
Sciatic nerve....
AHHHHHHH!
I have no doubt, I am ashamed to say, that she was taking it easy on me. By the end of the massage, I was, quite literally, drenched in sweat. I was given my rose tea to sip, and got up on my (surprisingly not sore) feet. And swayed.
You feeling giddy?
Huh?
You feel okay? Maybe you sit down for a while?
Um.... yes.

I very nearly fainted. Black spots and everything. Thankfully she noticed before I did and helped me. She told me it was not uncommon under the circumstances. I might mention that our furniture & things from NYC had only just arrived the week before and every single area that was excruciating on my foot related very specifically to areas of my body that had been hurting.

I am forever transformed into a believer. I now go weekly, and as promised by this wonderful woman, each time is less painful then the first, and that I will sleep like a baby each night after a massage (a promise worth its weight in gold!). And I do. And yes, I also generally am starting to feel better. Oh, and my migraine - gone within 2 hours of this massage. Nothing short of miraculous in my mind.

I have since experimented with various other places and people, but keep going back to this one and this woman who just seems to know what to do for me. My mother told me that when you find your match, you must stick with them because it is rare, and I must say she was right.

Transactions

When I first arrived in Singapore, one of the many things I found lovely and endearing was the custom of being respectful with money. When I purchased something and used either a credit card or cash, the person would return the change/credit card with two hands - one thumb on each top corner and hand it over to me with a slight bow. If a receipt was to be received with the credit card, the receipt would be duly wrapped around the card and then the card would be handed back to me with two hands. The respectful and correct way to receive your cash/credit card is with two hands in the same manner.

"How lovely!" I said to Oliver, my first days here when my first transactions were processed. The loveliness wore off quickly, soon to be replaced with mild irritation as I increasingly found myself in situations where I would be balancing a child in one arm, groceries in an other, with no extra hand to politely receive my change... or would be handed back my credit card, tightly wrapped in its receipt, and would have to either throw it into my handbag (with, yes, one hand), knowing I would have a long search for it when the next transaction occurred, or put everything down, politely receive my credit card, then extract it from the receipt, return it to my wallet, and pick everything up again.  The impatient New Yorker in me rebels against this inconvenience! Am I now officially going from tourist status to expat? Is this a complaint? I haven't decided. That said, when my hands are free, I do make sure to receive cash and card respectfully!

Thunderstorm

Recently, I experienced the most intense thunderstorm I can remember. The rain (torrential) was nothing special, the thunder and lightening, however, were impressive. Following every clap of thunder, making my daughter jump, was the sound of a cracking whip that felt as if it was literally behind me. And the lightening! It was seemingly appearing only several hundred feet away. I was surprised each time the building in front wasn't hit. More incredibly, both construction sites (one in front and to the left and the other directly to the right of my building) were still moving forward with their work - albeit at a slower tempo. Between the booming thunder and whip-like lightening, I saw (metal) cranes moving, and jackhammers ta-ta-tating away. CRAZY! I expected at any moment to hear an ambulance cart some poor worker away, as both these sites are totally devoid of actual buildings and are the only real open areas in the vicinity. I realize I can be prone (at times) to exaggeration, however to say they lightening seemed to be appearing next to the building in front of me several hundred feet away, is not. I hope these guys were  being paid some significant additional cash to continue work under such dangerous, not to mention, unpleasant, conditions!

Helper Part 2 and 3

"Someone stepped on your dog", my previous boss would have rightly said of my helper situation. I came to Singapore excited about many things, but vying for #1 most exciting thing to look forward to was live-in help. Who would have guessed this was to become my bete noir? I'm here 6 weeks+ now, and no live-in help (yet).

I naively thought there would be a lot of help and it would be easy to find. What I didn't consider were (a) standards and (b) the power of the current employers.

Starting with my first point- after interviewing 20+ women, mediocre English is not a given. With two small children my #2 requirement is very good English (and by very good, I mean now mean mediocre - ie - I can understand you over the phone if there is an emergency and you are panicked). My #1 requirement, of course, is outstanding childcare, and now, by that I mean you must like kids and like to play with them. Also not a given. Most of the women I interviewed rated toddler care# 3 or #4 of 5 strengths (#1 being housework, and many times, surprisingly, #2 being elder care). The biggest surprise, however, and point # 2  was that the helper's current employer could decide whether or not the helper would work again in Singapore and when! The first helper I gave an offer to didn't come through because her current employer decided not to sign transfer papers and send her back home. Second helper I gave an offer to the current employer kept refusing to sign the transfer papers even though promised a release date of March 17th....after having pitched an earlier release date. I waited. And waited. And waited. And then he refused to sign the papers. He said, in 3 days. Next week. This weekend. In 2 days. After 3 weeks of this, I had to start looking again, even though this helper was fantastic. So now I've made my 3rd offer, and this new helper is supposed to start on the 24th but until those famous transfer papers are signed I won't be holding my breath. As for helper #2, she is still waiting. Now apparently the release papers aren't being signed before April. She has no power in this. Helpers here have very little rights and you realize that if they are being mildly mistreated, they are really stuck for the duration of their contract and if they are being grossly mistreated, then they can appeal to the government, but who knows how effective that is and how many of these women actually go that route.

Singaporean Ironies

If I open my eyes a little, I find quite a lot of ironic, amusing and contradictory things going on here. I am in one of, if not THE cleanest city in world, yet wherever I go to eat that's fast food (a la Singapore - don't think Mac Donald's or anything), napkins are noticeably missing and the food is particularly messy to eat - there's a lot of splattering going on, and/or you are literally eating with your hands. I only ever realize this when I am in some sort of compromising position and wind up having to make do with my bare arm, sleeve, or shorts.

I also see "Employees must wash hands" signs everywhere, but there are no paper towels. Where do they dry their hands? On their dirty clothes. At one particular hawker stand (the Singaporean equivalent of a fast food stall) after I had placed my order for fresh naan (the stall had gotten an A for hygiene -and I must say everything was very very clean), I noticed the man who was about to make my fresh naan wipe the sweat from his forehead onto a wet kitchen cloth, use the same cloth to wipe his utensils, the counter, his hands and God only knows what else, and then dive his freshly cleaned hands into what would soon be a part of my lunch. As he spread the dough over the counter, I was relieved to see that my naan was to be cooked in a stone fire and duly disinfected!

What I also find amusing here is the water conservation efforts. You go to these ultra high end malls that have posted signs about environmental friendliness and the importance of water conservation - all the taps in bathrooms are on short timers (like 2 seconds), and the toilets have the "half-flush" button for inoffensive business, and then you see these unbelievably elaborate (and beautiful) water displays, fountains, water walls - you name it - that must use up literally tons and tons of water, but you are not given a full 2 seconds to rinse the soap off your hands!
Another discovery I made, through an unfortunate experience - for me - was my discovery that you can't use your ATM card in any ATM but the one that belongs to your bank. Not even for an additional fee. For such a capitalistic country, I find this surprising as banks could be making an killing from these fees. I discovered this when I was in a Taxi with Charlie that didn't take credit cards. I had not a penny, and so spent 25 minutes (after a 30 minute drive) having the cabbie going around looking for any ATM, hauling a very compliant Charlie in and out. At the time I didn't realize that I could only go to my personal bank's ATM and got increasingly more panicked as I kept getting "declined" and "unable to process" messages. My fare, I knew, was substantial enough that the Singaporean generosity would not kick in this time (I also don't think my driver was Singaporean). We eventually went to the largest mall, and I had to go down several levels to find my bank's ATM, and (phew!) there were funds in there after all. $30 later, I stepped out of the taxi very relieved and swearing never to leave home without $20 in my pocket.