Advice

During our time out here, I have had my fair number of cultural faux pas's, some mildly embarrassing, and others downright mortifying. The plus side of these experiences is that I can now (honestly) laugh about them, and laugh pretty hard. 

One of the biggest ramp-ups for me has been learning about the Indian culture, which I knew zero about before coming out here. I have come up with a list of a few pointers based on my growing experiences:

1. ALWAYS eat dinner before a dinner with Indians, if you have been invited to their home.

No, this is not because the food is not good, in fact, the food is 99% of the time off-the-charts excellent. This is because you will be lucky if you get a morsel of food before 11:30pm, at which point you will have been plied with massive quantities of alcohol (Indians are extremely hospitable and ensure that you are never without a full glass). 

2. Perhaps this should actually come before #1: If invited for 8pm (again, for a dinner at home), do not show up before 10pm, because no one is actually ready.

3. Never say no when offered something to eat or drink, this may cause offence or equally uncomfortable questions about 'why not?'. This can get tricky if you have followed the advice of point #1.

4. Be ready to be separated from your partner... for extensive periods of time. This depends on the party, of course, but the sexes do tend to flock together. Therefore, pay close attention to names and try to connect with at least one woman before the inevitable separation otherwise you may find yourself on the outs!

5. Never take the theme of an invite too literally (erring -always- on the conservative side).

Last year we were invited to a Deepavali party (this is the Indian New Year which is also known as the celebration of lights). The theme was "clubbing" and the language on the very cool hot pink & black invite told us to 'break out our club gear' and be ready to 'PARTY PARTY PARTY' and plan to drink to excess (yes, this too was printed on the invite). I got all dolled up and wore a micro-mini black lace skirt, the tallest stilettos I could find, a sleeveless fire-engine red V-neck silk fitted top, heavy make-up and voila! Oliver confirmed I was looking hot and that 'all eyes would be on me'. And how right he was. 

As per point #2 we arrived nice and late to the party. The party was packed and in full swing when we arrived. The only issue was, it turns out, EVERYONE, including the handful of westerners, were dressed in head-to-toe saris (for any of you who don't know, this is the traditional (conservative) Indian dress- and yes, you are covered from your shoulders all the way down to your toes). Gulp. I was more than half naked by comparison to everyone else there. I am certain that if I had walked in in a bikini, I could not have attracted much more attention. After the initial shock, we proceeded to have a blast and that was that. Needless to say, at the next Indian shin-dig I pulled out the most conservative outfit I could find!

I am certainly still learning and have no doubt that there will be more than a few more embarrassing situations, but in the process, I have had a lot of fun. 

Singapore - 2 years on

It's been just over two years since we moved to Singapore, and a very (very!) long time since my last post. Daily life had gotten the best of me!

Looking back on the time we've spent here, it's very hard to believe that we are already a quarter of our way into our 3rd year. When we first arrived some of our new friends said, "Watch out - Singapore is a vacuum. You blink and the year has passed." I scratched my head at that at the time, but now I understand. I'm not sure if this is a function of being an expat or if this is particular to Singapore. I have a feeling it is the latter. Perhaps it's the mostly perpetual sunny weather, the lack of seasons - creating a sameness to each day/month/year and/or just the happy lifestyle that sucks you in and makes you lose track of time completely.

One of the things that has remained consistent throughout our stay here has been how amazing the Singaporeans are - generous, thoughtful, and so socially responsible. One particular incident that happened last year highlighted this. Oliver's cell phone slipped out of his pocket and into the back seat of a taxi. He thought he'd left it at a friend's house so wasn't very worried about it. In the morning, we received a call from a friend notifying us that she had tried to reach Oliver and that a man told her that he had his phone. I got in touch with 'Michael' to arrange pick up of the phone. Not only did this man screen me to make sure I wasn't trying to steal Oliver's phone (who was I, how did I have Oliver's number), but he also insisted on coming to our closest subway station to hand the phone over, after having just gotten off the night shift. Upon meeting this man, he asked Oliver to unlock the phone in front of him, just to be sure Oliver was the rightful owner. He had noticed Oliver's screen saver which was an image of our two girls, and had actually bought them a box of cookies and some candies from Mark's and Spencer's (not a cheap brand here). Oliver, before even knowing about the gift, had tried to give him money for his trouble and Michael flatly refused, handing Oliver the gift instead. Even now, months later, when I think back to this incident, I am speechless. 

A few months after this experience, I managed to leave my Kindle on a Delta flight (is this forgetfulness also a function of Singapore?). I received a call from the airline after they had discovered the Kindle in the seat pocket. They reviewed the seat assignments to work out who to contact and I was then called and asked if I had lost something? Realizing it only then, I told them and described the item. They couriered the Kindle from the airport for me within 24hours, and actually called me later on that day to confirm I had received it and that all was okay. I know this is Delta, but I would stress that this is Delta as run by Singaporeans. I have no doubt that Delta's JFK lost and found is full of interesting and expensive items, both unclaimed and unreturned. 

In our forgetful states, these kinds of things have happened to us more than a handful of times. Oliver has lost his phone here at least 3 or 4 times- each time in a taxi and each time returned either by the driver or a kind passenger.

Is it the sun? Is that what puts everyone in a good mood? Or is it that a majority of people here are fit and as a result, have endorphins racing around and are happier and more willing to do nice things for others?

I know I have written a glossy image of this place, and that is certainly a reflection of how I feel, however I should also mention that I have met a handful of people who have moved here who haven't liked it and with most of their complains valid: impossible to get cabs at peak hours or when raining, tough to understand locals due to heavy accent, the insane expense of cars (a simple VW can set you back about $150k due to various taxes), the humidity of course, the culture of lining up to get into lines, and... well, the list can go on quite extensively depending on the perspective and level of discontent. I agree with these things, but I think all cities have pros and cons and from there, how you look at life is a choice. This is a perspective you feel more acutely out here than back home. An East vs West thing I think... and a good one at that!